Guest Blog: Porn, Romance & Valentine’s Day
Editor’s note: This special guest blog was written by Zarabeth.
Would I watch porn with my partner on Valentine’s Day? First of all, fuck Valentine’s Day. The greeting card industry doesn’t need to tell me when to celebrate love. But yes, absolutely… Valentine’s Day and any day is a good opportunity to watch porn with my Beloved Boy! Is porn romantic? It certainly can be. There are SO many varieties of porn, including something that would make for the perfect romantic evening for any unique couple.
For most couples one person is probably more keen on watching porn together than the other. For people in straight relationships, the stereotype would be that the gentleman is very excited to watch porn together, and the lady is wary… but not so in our house. I love porn! I love all the different kinds of porn. I want to see the twinks make a train, and I want to see the grannies fist each other, and everything in between. Pornography is an art form that opens our imaginations and challenges the unhealthy sexual repression institutionally imposed on us. I often nerd out about it, and my boy is patient with me, but he would really like to hear less from me about porno. For him, porn usually falls into a narrower category of something to be watched in short increments to accomplish a specific “goal”. Thanks to living with me, there is already enough porn on the screen and porn talk to make him a little tired of it. At first we were taking turns selecting what to watch together, but it started to make sense for us (or for any couple) to let the less enthusiastic partner choose what to watch. I can watch whatever I want on my own time.
Recently he has been interested in alternative art porn like Xplastic, and AltPorn4U. An evening with one of these avant-garde scenes has been a lovely way to focus on romance and sensuality. It’s so easy to get distracted by the hectic nature of modern life. Taking a little time to enjoy a naughty movie has been a great way to see beyond the mundane and stay connected to our own romantic spark. It reminds us of the passionate depravity we have together, and how precious that is.
Your idea of a romantic date night movie could be sensual and steamy, something hilarious to make you laugh your asses off together, or something entirely unique to you as a couple. There is a “couples” category on our site, and it’s worth checking out. But the designation is a bit arbitrary, and is aimed at movies that would appeal to the typical man and the typical woman, and that certainly doesn’t describe every couple. You should also brainstorm together and get creative! A general rule about porn is “if you can think of it, porn has been made about it”.
Here are some ideas for choosing something to watch together. If you like watching sports together try a “winner fucks loser” sporting event. Like campy B-movies? Try a feature with a “story line” and laugh together at what are usually absurd “plots” and delightfully terrible acting. Have a favorite movie to watch together? There’s likely a porn parody of it. Annoyed by the typical porn plots and want a high quality, engaging vignette? Check out the truly twisted scenarios of Pure Taboo. Concerned about misogyny and the male gaze? Pick a movie directed by a woman. The porn women are making is not a monolith. It can be high-class chic or as raunchy as any man could make. Dana Vespoli and Joanna Angel are two of my favorite directors, and there are many other amazing women making porn. Turned off by porny porn with fake tits and fake orgasms? You won’t find anything more natural, wholesome, and refreshing than AbbyWinters… beautiful, all-natural girls just having real sex with each other and their real life male partners. Want to learn how to improve and expand your bedroom game together? An X-rated instructional will give you the world’s most knowledgeable and sexiest Sex Ed teachers. Any porn can teach you more about what turns you on, but is usually done in a “don’t try this at home” kind of way. An X-rated instructional lets the pornstars directly show you how to explore your fantasies in safe and mutually satisfying ways. Check out the Kink School series or an instructional from Nina Hartley or Tristan Taormino.
Learning together about the things you’re curious about and bringing that knowledge into your bedroom (car, kitchen table, isolated wooded area, etc.) is a great investment in yourselves as a couple and will keep things adventurous and satisfying. Every day (which includes Valentine’s Day) is a great day to focus on your partner and on romance. Including a naughty movie in your time together can turn you on, make you laugh, and teach you things to make your sex life even better. What could be more romantic than that?
