‘Shoplyfter 7’: Bad Teens Get What They Deserve
Are you familiar with the Shoplyfter teen “reality” series? If you’re not, you should be – either so you can revile it as an example of misogyny run rampant and the glorification of criminal sexual abuse, or jack off to it because you love watching women driven to misery. Or both, I guess, if you’re capable of that particular level of cognitive dissonance. I mean, on some level, you know that getting off to porn almost always depends on it being forbidden and dirty, right? Sure, OK. Let’s just take a look at Shoplyfter 7, then.
The Shoplyfter model is very simple. A girl – almost always a teen porn star who’s well-known enough to know how to fuck on camera but not really well-known enough to take you out of the fantasy that she might be a normal human being – gets escorted into a cluttered, cramped office, protesting that she hasn’t done anything wrong, occasionally crying, gets sat down and lectured, then strip-searched, during which search she is discovered to be hiding some stolen goods, and then given the choice of fucking or arrest. It’s the old story, and Crave has really honed it down. There are, however, some refinements creeping into the formula. Wisely, Crave understands that variety is the spice of life.
Unwisely, the refinements require acting of the teen stars, who previously only had to behave as though they were undergoing an unpleasant and humiliating experience, which certainly didn’t require any acting at all. Madison Hart and her boyfriend/accomplice have to display some complex emotions when contemplating questions of loyalty, ethics, and the futility of depending on other flawed human beings. Kimberly Chi has to sit for ten minutes and contemplate her crime and punishment, going from anger to depression to whining despair and more stealing before her mom comes in to take the hit for her. Eden Sin has to pretend that she thinks hiding under a desk in a locked office will help her.
Madison Hart is a puppy-fat blonde teen with nice firm tits; her boyfriend is a douchebag who agrees to give her to Marcus London in exchange for their freedom but then has to sit and watch the results of his decision. He resists the urge to jack off while he watches, at least. Catarina Petrov, a lanky blonde, stews in the office alone with no support at all until she breaks down weeping; the security guard pretends to sympathize but ends up putting his dick in her face (she does a great acting job when it comes to looking ashamed and humiliated).
Not so convincing is Kimberly Chi, but she’s not the one who counts – she calls her mom, Christy Love, who rushes down to the rescue and lets the security guard know that she’ll do anything to get her daughter out of trouble, including taking the dick that was meant for her virgin child’s pussy; the virgin teen learns some things about human behavior as she sits and watches her mom get fucked in her stead (and at times looks tantalizingly close to getting her fingers busy as she observes). As for Eden Sin, a coltish teen with black hair and tiny tits, her scene follows the traditional formula, in which Tommy Gunn strip-searches her and terrifies her with the potential consequences of her decision until she begs him for the usual alternative. If you should find yourself feeling sorry for her, just remember that no girl with tattoos like that is really unaccustomed to cock.
