‘Family Discount’: Slippery Steps

I don’t often abbreviate something I want to say, especially if it’s an opinion. I like to stretch things out, talk a lot – maybe even too much – and be, in general, what I think of as articulate and eloquent. Porn, though, is full of things that make you want to be brief so you can get right back to the matter at hand (statistically, probably the right hand). In the interest of brevity and accuracy, then, let me just say of The Family Discount: OMG Ella Knox. And I know that doesn’t say everything about the movie, but I can’t really get away with just saying OMG Ella Knox and calling it a day, so here’s some more stuff about The Family Discount.  

OMG Ella Knox! She’s cute, she’s tiny, she has enormous, bouncy natural tits, and she can take a cock as well as anybody I’ve ever seen in a Fantasy Massage movie. When Jay Smooth shows up to cash in his massage gift certificate but finds out that his sister owns the hands that are going to be all over him, he balks, but she points out that she is, in fact, only his sister-n-law – a tenuous family connection even for the already timid fauxcest genre – and that he should shut up and take off his clothes. He is weak of mind but has a body that could lead any stepsister into temptation, so it’s no surprise that she has maneuvered him into a situation where she can finally get her strong, supple hands on that big dick. That is her goal, and that is what she does, regardless of Jay’s weak protests. More of Ella Knox please.  

There’s nothing wrong with London River that a pint of makeup remover wouldn’t cure. She’s just no Ella Knox, but then most people aren’t. She’s very pale, with platinum blonde hair that makes her seem nearly translucent. She’s pretty happy to find out that Zac Wild has gotten into the college he wants to attend, but not as happy as she is to find out that he’s also willing to give her a full-body massage – the kind dad just doesn’t deliver. Dad also doesn’t deliver the cock, so mom is good with using Zac’s instead, and before you know it, mom is bouncing up and down on his cock with her big tits in his face. London, even if she’s no Ella Knox, is still pretty spectacular. She likes a cock deep in her throat and a hot load on her big fake tits, and she clearly enjoys all the male members of the family, and all the members of the male members of the family.  

As much as I liked Ella Knox and I was all like “young, natural tits, cute face blah blah blah,” I have to say that I still have a little spot in my heart – well, maybe not my heart, exactly – for Dee Williams‘ kind of jaded, gym-toned, fake-boobed, experienced woman. Why didn’t this come up during London River’s scene, you ask? Your guess is as good as mine. But Dee has a certain knowing languor about her that I find really appealing; her obvious family rivalry with stepdaughter Vienna Rose blossoms when they show up at the Fantasy Massage parlor and have to share an appointment. Were I Lucas Frost, Dee would get all my attention, but then I am not nearly as principled as he is. Well, he is principled right up until the rivalry turns hot and the women start trying to seduce him. To be fair, Dee is really a licentious whore and I think Vienna would have just gotten a normal massage if she’d been alone, but things are what they are, and Lucas ends up fucking both of them and dealing out a double facial. He can’t complain.