Cum On My Tattoo 6: Don’t Take Too Long Picking One Out



Cum on My Tattoo 6 should really properly be called “Fuck Me for a Really Long Time and then Cum on My Tattoo 6” or even “Pick One of My Tattoos to Cum on Because Holy Shit I Have Dozens and It Would Take You Weeks to Hit Them All, Not That I Would Object 6”. I wouldn’t object either, honestly. The Cum on My Tattoo series is pretty much my favorite, mostly because I get the feeling that Joanna Angel and her friends come up with the plots for the vignettes maybe five minutes before they start filming. This is the apex of the goofiness, and it seems like it might be the most fun anyone ever has filming porn.

Alessa Savage has travelled the world looking for someone to cum on her tattoos and ended up here in this little cave in Ibiza (I don’t think they’re really in Ibiza), begging Small Hands to give her what she craves. Alessa is a lean – even skinny – little brunette who starts off in a very skimpy bathing suit, which I suppose is the thing in Ibiza, but doesn’t stay in it long. The best thing about her (and there are a lot of good things to choose from) is her dirty talk, which is both whimsical and interesting – she tells Small Hands “Give me the best white dick I’ve ever had!” which has some implications that might be daunting to a lesser man, and the little bark she gives when she asks him to fuck her doggy-style is the most charming thing you will ever hear in a porn movie. He opts to pop on a large leafy vine on her left flank, and then she does a little dance.

Anna Bell Peaks is all out of sunscreen, and she doesn’t want her tattoos to get all faded and shitty. What’s a girl to do? She goes in the house and complains to Bill Bailey, who tells her that he heard recently that cum is good for the skin, keeps it moist and adds protein and nutrients. We all know he won’t be able to produce nearly enough to cover all of her ink, but he’s game to try, and he’s the only guy home at the moment, so she’s in. Anna Bell is hyperinflated and hyper-sexy, with big fake tits and pink hair. Bill fucks her in doggy, cowgirl, RCG, and some in-between positions, and he finally shoots on the masked girl on her leg. She wants to return the favor, but he doesn’t have any tattoos. Luckily, Small Hands happens by, and she squirts all over his back, then licks it up for good measure.

Monique Alexander has just moved into the neighborhood, and Lily Lane and Xander Corvus are stopping by to present a pie they’ve baked. Of course, Chekhov’s gun is in play, and Xander ends up wearing the pie when Monique has a tantrum because ALL SHE WANTED WAS SOME CUM ON HER TATTOO! She apologies, and Xander heads into the bathroom to clean up while the girls work up some other creamy treats for him to sample when he gets back. I remember when Monique Alexander was a blonde Vivid contract girl with not much in the way of tattoos – times have changed, and she’s hot as fuck now. The two of them look enough alike that it must be like fucking twins, or at least sisters, and Xander ultimately spreads his seed wide, coming on both Monique’s ass and Lily’s tits.

Felicity Feline wanders into Gage Sin‘s bar, where he is listening to Small Hands‘ incomprehensible jokes, and announces that she doesn’t really want a drink at all – just some cum on her tattoo. Gage wastes no time kicking Small Hands out and feeding Felicity his cock. In fact, there’s no wasting time at all in this scene, and it’s pretty stripped down. the fuck is fun and hot, if unremarkable compared to some of the others, and although you won’t be disappointed when he pops on the compass rose on her belly, you probably won’t mind moving on to a scene with a little more personality.

Juliana Rose is in tears when Xander Corvus finds her just before her wedding starts, bawling away with her huge tits hanging out. She’s distraught because her husband-to-be won’t com on her tattoos. Xander says his parents had the same issue, and it worked out fine for them, but he agrees that Steps Must Be Taken to rectify the problem before it gets any words, and as a good friend he knows just what steps to take. The first one is a step closer to those big tits, to which he applies his cock after she gets it slick with her mouth. Doggie, cowgirl, spoon, missionary, and he cums all over the winged figure on her chest.

P. Weasels

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