Best Of List: Couples Coupling
It is has been proven that, when watching Shane Diesel or Mandingo movies, men and women prefer to watch alone. Here are 2014’s bestselling movies that couples watch together, with our analysis of why that might be.
#10. Holly Would
You know that if the adjective “high-end” precedes the word “hooker,” then this is a couple’s movie. Asa Akira stars as Holly, a pricy escort and featured attraction of “The Club,” a sex establishment infiltrated by the LAPD when up-and-coming actor Xander Corvus starts spilling the beans when he’s busted for possession. Well-acted and well-shot, “Holly Would” takes its time and allows us to get to know Asa Akira, which is always for the best.
Buy: Holly Would
#9. Erotic Massage Stories #5
In porn, sometimes the word “erotic” is a euphemism for softcore and boring, but these unscripted vignettes feature chemistry and eye candy enough for both of you. My favorite scene showcased the light bouncing off the oiled and lithe frame of the lovely Sabrina Banks, whose appeal extends to both sides of the couch.
#8. The Submission of Emma Marx
When mousy Emma Marx (Penny Pax) encounters the dominant William Frederick (Richie Calhoun), their dalliance might seem just a little familiar to airline readers of E.L. James. But don’t hold this against New Sensations, for they have created a far pornier and younger-skewing “50 Shades” adaptation narrated by screenwriter Jacky St. James herself. Remember: there’s no denial of pleasure in porn as with rigid BDSM, so she gets her handsome, serious porn dude and he gets a cute 19-year-old with a facial cumshot. Everyone wins!
#7. One Night Stands #5
“Five nights. Ten strangers. One desire. Sometimes the chemistry is so right, you just can’t say no! From first date flings to revenge bonings, these One Night Stands will have you cumming back for more!” reads the cover copy, but that might actually make you not want to watch this movie. I mean, “cumming back for more”? What you need to know is that you will see just as many newcomers as familiar faces in this movie, which increases the feeling of spontaneity in a low-budget picture. It’s the type of movie that only inspires you and your partner to do better.
Buy: One Night Stands #5
#6. The Party
One of those “Hangover”-style “Let’s Piece Together Our Blackout-Drunken Evening the Next Day” capers in which the masterful Steven St. Croix does all the acting for everybody, leaving Samantha Saint more time to be the hottest hungover person you have ever seen. While this is surely not the most credible movie in our lineup, one can certainly understand why everyone is either divorced or on their way there.
Buy: The Party
#5. Cinderella XXX
I think if you are going to just level with yourself and admit that all the fairy tales are filled with great porn ideas, you should just go for it, you know? A bestseller of the new “Wicked Fairy Tales” imprint and perhaps a harbinger of more titles (a MILF series featuring the Old Woman Who Lived in 8″ Lucite Stripper Heels might be nice), Axel Braun’s “Cinderella XXX” really makes use of the stunning Samantha Saint in and out of a dirndl.
Buy: Cinderella XXX
#4. The Stepmother 11
This “Stepmother” is subtitled “Don’t Tell Your Dad” but really, doesn’t that apply to all of them? Porn Valley’s finest collection of real-life milves, porn-only milves, and all-around cougars (including the exquisite India Summer) provide what I think is the most egalitarian type of couples’ movie: Men get to see women closer to their own age for once while their girlfriends and partners can ogle younger dudes the way their husbands have been ogling barely-legal teens. It’s porn’s version of affirmative action, and everyone benefits.
Buy: The Stepmother 11
#3. Pirates
My fondness for this movie comes from the fact that it is an unabashed blockbuster that celebrates its 10th anniversary next year. Even when it was released people were saying that its scale made it a throwback to the Golden Age. But “Pirates” looks more like today than it does 1978 because the porn body type of Jesse Jane, Carmen Luvana et al is something we 21st century porn fans can understand. Not only that, but male talent like Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, and Steven St. Croix are still around and doing great work.
Buy: Pirates
#2. My Hotwife’s Lover
Excellent performances abound in this movie, written by Jacky St. James and co-directed by St. James and Eddie Powell. A perfect example of what strong, fun-loving porn actors can do with a good script, “My Hotwife’s Lover” also shines a light on the new trend of hotwifing, in which a husband controls his spouse’s extramarital flings.
Buy: My Hotwife’s Lover
#1. My Daughter’s Boyfriend 11
Just as he did on the cover of James Avalon’s other dirty parent fantasy, “The Stepmother 11,” the not-so-virginal Logan Pierce acquiesces to the temptations of another brunette on the year’s #1 bestselling couples’ movie, “My Daughter’s Boyfriend 11.” What’s with all the 11s? Logan Pierce is not an 11. And perhaps that is the lesson we should learn from the movies that are successful in this category: Men in couples will only stretch the envelope so far; they don’t want to sit through watching a guy with an 11″ schlong with their girlfriends there. Maybe more women will watch porn with their husbands if they start to more pornstresses who look like them?
