Movie Review: The Perfect Secretary III

I am handicapped, coming in to Perfect Secretary 3, by the fact that I have not seen Perfect Secretary 1 or 2 and whatever complex story may be in play is going to be a mystery to me. Forgive me for my unfamiliarity with the franchise . It appears to be capitalizing on the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, though a young girl is invited to meet a reclusive rich guy who is into some light BDSM, and she gets sucked into his world. The light BDSM here is mostly implied by minor-key music, weird camera angles, and the presence of the occasional bondage signifier, like restraints, a riding crop, or guys in nice suits.

Riley Reid is masturbating furiously one morning when a letter arrives containing a jumpdrive that has a number of things on it, including an invitation for her to join some hot naked girls at a place called the Baukriver Institute and some footage indicating that somehow she already has. Riley is as confused as you and I are as she watches herself participating in some group sex with Holly Taylor, Katie St. Ives, Bailey Blue and the very lucky Jessy Jones, whose name makes him sound like he might be a girl but who is emphatically not. Riley and Katie work on each other while Bailey and Holly keep Jessy and his dick busy as the live Riley watches in confusion.

  It seems to appeal, though, because she signs the many, many consent forms they give her, and she is treated to some talk about how amazing Mr. Baukriver is, after which a guy who is not the mysterious Mr. Baukriver invites Riley for some breakfast, which involves fruit eaten off a pair of gyrating girls who are at the very least bisexual. Those two abandon the field before long, leaving Riley to indulge with Michael Vegas in many of the very things she just signed releases about touching, pussy-eating, fellatio, and vaginal sex, for example. There was no consent form for taking a load on the face, but she goes ahead and does it anyway.

  I have worked in customer service, so the CS department at BI seems very realistic, with hot half-naked women writhing around on tables answering phone calls about blowjob seminars. Unlike the place I worked, though, the boss comes down to hang out with the CS reps when he’s depressed. They jiggle their asses to distract him, but their chatter just kind of pisses him off, and when he leaves, someone named (maybe) Mr. Assman comes in to service the girls. Dana DeArmond warms them up first, though, smacking them a little and kissing asses until he arrives.

When he does, he wades in and takes over, ignoring Cameron Canada, Katie St. Ives and Staci Silverstone in favor of fucking Dana while they watch. While that seems like a great idea, I don’t know why he and Dana had to come to the CS pod to do it, it seems like an office would have been more convenient, which also raises the question of why the CS girls are answering the phones while lying on cold metal tables in the first place. Maybe it’s an institute thing.

  Prince Yahshua seems to be trying to record a voice ad for the Institute, but Chanel Preston keeps teasing him, and he can’t resist chasing her around and then fucking her. And while I see his point, I would think working for the moody and mysterious Mr. Baukriver would make you wary of abandoning your post, although I can see how a place that hold blowjob seminars would lend itself to this kind of diversion. Still, it’s not like he’s in customer service. He catches up to her in a room that is very bondagey and dark, where he has some sex with her. Chanel Preston is very hot these days, and she is certainly amenable to being caught and fucked. She demonstrates the skills she must have learned in various seminars, and the two of them put on a good show.

  After some psychoplay from Mr. Baukriver, taunting Riley when she has gotten herself hung up on a gate in the basement, Katie St. Ives comes down to sling some talk. Katie says she’s the head administrator, which is surprising because she was answering phones a few minutes ago.

I would watch Katie St. Ives file insurance forms. She is not filing any insurance forms in the next scene (to be fair, customer service reps and head administrators don’t usually file that much); instead, she is getting Riley all worked up by teasing her as she remains stuck on the gate, and then she moves on back upstairs to get it on with a slave boy who turns out to be Mr. Baukriver’s little brother. She ties him to a four poster bed and reddens up his ass a little with a little slapper and then a leather flogger. As is the norm for this kind of movie, the BDSM doesnt last long she gets him on his knees eating pussy pretty quickly and, while the tortured Mr. B watches from behind a curtain, she fucks his little brother at first while he’s tied up and then after he’s loose and takes control.

  I should say at this point that this is where I think that having watched the two movies before this might come in handy, because now we have a scene in which Riley and her new boss declare their undying love for one another and act as though there was some dramatic tension that had been going on for a while. The thing is, none of these people was in any of the previous two movies, so unless there was an enormous amount of footage cut out of this movie, I have to say it doesn’t make a lick of sense. It’s pretty, though, and the two of them consummate their mysteriously fraught marriage on a table at the institute while the other hot female employees spy on them and grope each other.

We’ve seen Riley at work before, but this time she’s a little more in charge as part of the mysterious allusions to plot that we’ve seen a few times up to now, she has announced that he’s going to be her bitch. Then the whole thing turns into another four-girl-one-guy scene, and the credits roll.

  I think maybe this movie is meant to be watched not as a sequel to the other two, but as a sort of visual adjunct to the kind of BDSM-light fiction that has been making the rounds of the best-seller lists. With a couple of exceptions notably Riley’s stint in restraints and Katie St. Ives’s scene with Chad Alva the movie is more a long allusion to the BDSM lifestyle than an actual BDSM piece. Viewers with a curiosity about that world may be intrigued by the atmosphere and paraphernalia, but experienced players might have to content themselves with the hotness of the cast as a draw. The lack of plot may be an advantage for either, since you can dip in and out of the movie while paying attention to other matters closer at hand and not have to feel like they missed anything.

Purchase Perfect Secretary 3 – The New Recruit


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