Time Machine Tuesday: Fiat Lux Kassidy

Lux Kassidy, lithe, blonde, and untouched by men, was a newly-minted Vivid girl shooting her first movie, Lux’s Life, at an $1850-a-day Encino porn rental home. Missy Monroe, dirty, juicy, a controlled hot mess, wasn’t exactly Vivid’s type. But there they both were. It was 2006.

There was a lot more poolhouse porn shot in Porn Valley those days. Like today, you just need a secluded-enough area with a locking gate and room for all the leased cars of the cast and the beater cars of the crew, and enough rooms with fucking surfaces to change up the scenery. Over the years I’ve been to that house a couple dozen times. The plot came later.

Actually, the plot needed to come now.

Longtime photographer B. Skow had just begun directing for Vivid (he now has his own imprint at Girlfriends Films), and he needed dialogue for Christian XXX and Monroe. “She’s a punk rock girl,” he said vaguely. “And we’re doing the scene in the barbecue area near the pool. That’s all I got.”

I’ll do it,” I said. I’d never written dialogue for a porn movie before. It would be a thrill to make words come out of Missy Monroe’s mouth, regardless of what went into it later.

Here was the scene:

[MISSY enters BBQ pit area to find CHRISTIAN, having just exited the pool, donning an apron to grill some weenies.]

Missy Monroe: Where’s the punk rock party? I’m here for the punk rock party. That’s why I’m sitting down. You know, for the punk rock party.

Christian: That was yesterday, baby. It’s today now.

CHRISTIAN continues cooking.

MM: Are you a cook?

Christian: Yeah.

MM: I like food.

Christian: Oh really?

MM: Yeah. I like the way it tastes. I like to put it in my mouth.

Christian: Yeah?

MM: Do you know what else I like?

Christian: No, baby. What?

MM: To suck cock! I like sucking cock!

Christian: Well today’s your lucky day, baby.

MM: Why’s that?

Christian: Because I’ve got a cooler full of meat. In addition to my pants. Which are also full of meat.

[The scene is available in its entirety here. It’s glorious.]

I sat with Kassidy to watch the scene. Naturally we both thought it was like watching Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen in ?Waiting for Godot.?

For her entire porn career, Kassidy remained Girls Only. Even one of her scene partners in ‘Lux’s Life,’ Samantha Ryan, eventually (and, to my mind, thankfully) started accepting the D.

But on that day Monroe came up to me and made a prediction about when Kassidy would be doing anal:

“15 months,” Monroe predicted. “By August 22, 2007. My 23rd birthday.”

Samantha Ryan (whose vagina, Kassidy said and could this possibly be true? I don’t think so was the first other one she’d touched), B. Skow, and Christian are still going strong in Porn Valley, and Monroe, after a hiatus, has returned in triumph.

But Kassidy never got that anal (which is fine by me; I always thought Anal was like Secretaries’ Day, a false milestone invented by some marketing lobby, but that’s a different story).Free Video Preview image 1 from Lux's Life Free Video Preview image 5 from Lux's Life

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